


I think I’m in love with you (and I’m terrified)

by InvincibleRodent



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Drabble, Internal Conflict, Internal Monologue, Introspection, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, POV Dorian Pavus, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 04:04:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4333179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InvincibleRodent/pseuds/InvincibleRodent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quick drabble to fill a sentence meme request- "I think I’m in love with you, and I’m terrified." Imported from tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I think I’m in love with you (and I’m terrified)

I think I’m in love with you, and I’m terrified.

I watch you- a fascinating amalgamation of contradictions on two legs, a mystery in a suit of iron and skin. I watch the brute with the loud, barking laugh; the smile that comes easy and lingers long. The face of a prince from fairy tales my governess used to tell before bed, the face that twists into a predator’s grin as you scent blood, and Maker do I wish you’d look at me that way.

I watch, as the same hands that clasp together in prayer and cling to faith with an iron grip, now soak in the blood of the fallen, and I picture them gliding over my skin with the same tenderness as they do over the faces of those we’ve lost. Your fingernails would draw marks of possession on my thighs in a deep shade of purple, regal and flattering, and I pretend you picture the same- medals of honor, little half-moons that map your touches as you devour me, desecrate me, conquer me.

I listen to you whisper words of devotion, eyes downcast and lips trembling as your tongue trips around a hushed gospel, and I imagine you calling out my name the same way you call Andraste’s.

I listen to your voice, adore it without shame- the subtly accented lilt, the deep, even pitch. It is fine wine on gravel, it rumbles over the soft cracks and pops of the campfire, and I listen to you paint the evening stunning colors with tales from your childhood. I have never met your sister, but I know her as if she was my own.

I wonder if you know how bewitchingly your eyes shine when you speak of her. I pretend they shine the same when you speak of me.

I think about your lips- how soft they felt against mine when I kissed you, ungraceful and rushed. You called me brave and I thanked you by acting like a spoiled brat and taking what I only thought was mine, but you still smiled at me and touched my cheek in a way that’s easy to mistake for affection. If you squint a little, you might see it too.

I think about all those who have had the pleasure to be loved by you, be had by you, and vicious jealousy bubbles deep in my stomach. Men with no names rush by behind my eyelids, they blend together into a mush of faces- I don’t know if they are yours or mine. I don’t know if I’ll get to be one of them.

I am wretched. Shameful. I am pretense, desperate and fleeting- an hour of indulgence, twenty minutes of sweat-slicked skin and muffled shouts of pleasure, five minutes of playing at love like children playing house.

I am perverted desire, an exquisite profanity, and I put on my best smile as I rap my knuckles against the door. Even as a child, I always broke my favorite toys.

I think I’m in love with you, and I’m terrified.

But for this one night, I’m going to pretend you’re in love with me too.

**Author's Note:**

> I have [a tumblr](http://www.weresquirrel.tumblr.com) too  
> and I'm told I'm not always insufferable! :) I would really appreciate comments- let it be suggestions or critique, always looking for ways to improve and practice. 
> 
> (I'm also planning on writing a longer, largely canon-compliant series starring my Inquisitor, with longer and more specific glimpses of his past and such, a character study of sorts... I wonder if anyone would be interested in something like that? Kind of fretting a little, but it's fun so far!)


End file.
